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Actually, this post will have very little to do with Sweetness, who liked to dance, or the Fridge, who’s a rookie and maybe big but he’s no dumb cookie.  It doesn’t really have to do with LA Mike or Samurai Mike or the punky QB known as McMahon.  It does indeed mention many (but not all) of the Bears’ shuffling crew, but only as an introductory paragraph.  You see, unlike that punky QB, when I hit the turf I HAVE a plan.

Seriously, in honor of the upcoming Superbowl (will the NFL sue this lowly blogger over my use of that phrase?  I kind of hope so – that kind of publicity would normally be really expensive), I thought I’d share with you the most humorous ads that you WON’T be seeing this weekend during the Superbowl.

How do I know you won’t be seeing them?  Because I just made them up the other day as I wandered around the house.  How do I know they’re funny?  Because I know funny.  Without further ado, for your reading/imagining pleasure, picture these ads (which both are inspired by Duck Dynasty):

Ad 1:

Camera pans in on the Duck Dynasty crew in their little room making Duck calls.  Jase calls to Godwin to toss him one of the calls.  Godwin tosses the call.  Jase drops it.  Godwin calls to Si to toss him one of the calls.  Si tosses the call.  Godwin drops it.  Willie walks in just in time to see Jep drop a call being tossed by Jase.  Willie says “Those calls are worth a hundred bucks each.  That’s it.”  He whips out his cell phone and one of the guys asks what he’s doing.  Willie says “I’m calling AT&T.”  A screen pops up saying “AT&T – switch to the network with the fewest dropped calls.”  In the background, you hear another call shatter as it hits the floor and Willie goes “SI!” and Si says “Look Jack, he threw it to hard!”

Ad 2:

The camera zooms in on a group of guys that look something like the Duck Dynasty cast, but clearly are not.  The men are standing in a line, watching something.  They each have a can or bottle of some brand of iced tea (the product being sold).  In the background you hear a scream and a small explosion.  The camera zooms in on one of the men.  He says “Yeah, it can get kind of boring being the stuntman for a redneck.” (another distant explosion and more screaming as the guy looks off screen and rolls his eyes) he continues: “Network rules require them to hire stuntmen, but rednecks love doing the dangerous stuff themselves.  All we have to do is stand around and sip (the product being sold).”  Jase runs by screaming with his backside on fire and offscreen Willie yells “Si, I TOLD you to put that blowtorch down!”  The camera focuses back on the stuntman, who shakes his head and mutters, “Amateurs…”

So, whaddya think?  Wouldn’t those be hilarious commercials?  Wouldn’t they be timely with that crew at the height of their popularity?

What kind of oddball creative exercises do you go through as you write?